Perfectionism and Being Yourself | Dr. Amelia Reigstad, Author of Hello Ms. Perfect #027

Hello everyone. I'm Karissa Dunham from Shining Light on Minnesota. We have a very special guest here today with us, best-selling author, Dr. Amelia. Welcome, Amelia. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yes. So, for those of you that don't know, February 4th, topselling book, Hello Ms. Perfect, came out. We're going to talk a little bit about that and then we're going to dive into some deeper subjects. Deeper. O, I know, right? So, let's just start like you have a store called the Women's Collective in White Bear Lake. I do. How did you get started with that? And then we'll dig into the book. So that was really, really, really random. So it was an idea that popped into my head April of last year. Um I had spent some time in March in Costa Rica. I had an opportunity to speak at uh United Nations um University for Peace. Wow. Um gross global happiness summit. So it was amazing people from all over the world talking about happiness and I was fortunate to be there presenting on some communication related topics and I left that experience thinking gosh like I really want to do something more purposeful. Yeah. I wanted my work to align with just more purpose. And you know much of my career has been focused around women and uplifting and inspiring them and empowering them to do things and to use their voice. And so this idea of the woman collective came to fruition. So it's a curated retail experience in downtown White Bear Lake um that uplifts and inspires with purpose and we represent over 50 different womenowned brands um with that goal. Um but it's so much more. So we took down walls in January. We now have a mini workshop, strategy session, event space, and do all kinds of things with the community. How fun. So how did you get started getting into empowerment and speaking and all of that stuff? where did you grow up and kind of what brought you to that stage? So, I'm originally from just outside of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Very cool. So, I've lived in Minnesota. I met the love of my life and I moved here in 2012. So, we've been married 12 years. Um, but my background is all in communication and leadership and I always feel that I was a feminist at heart and I remember taking a gender communication course my first year of college and I loved it. And you know fast forward both my masters and my PhD is in gender communication. So I've spent a lot of time studying you know how men and women communicate differently in the workplace and you know part of that you know just I just had this love for encouraging women to use their voice. So I was a university professor for 15 years you know mentored a lot of young women in the public relations industry because PR is generally female dominated. Yes it is. Um, and so it just kind of all it all came together. The pandemic hit. I turned 40. I finished my PhD and I was like, gosh, I don't really want to teach anymore. What am I going to do with my life? What's next? Right. What's next? Um, so during that time, I ended up kind of taking my knowledge from my PhD and turning that into a business. Amazing. So, working with organizations, teaching them to communicate more effectively, to increase productivity. Um, and then ended up, you know, working with a lot of women's leadership groups and ERGs. Um, started what's called the Women Empowerment Series, which is a cohort-based program that uplifts and inspires and encourages women to use their voice. And so, it all just came to fruition and here we are. And so, from that, February 4th rolled around and you decided to write the book. How did you have you always wanted to write books? And have you kind of always had that background of like, I need more, I want to do more and help out more? Uh, I mean, I always love to write. Yeah. Um, and and that probably aligns with, you know, my communication background. And I did always have a goal to write a book. Nice. And I had that goal by the time I turn 30. Yep. Well, I'll be 45 next month. So, and you have kids and life happens. Life happens. Um, so I did write an ebook during the pandemic um around virtual communication skills that was published through a publisher in the UK. Mhm. But I wanted that hard copy book that I could hold in my hand. Um so almost to the day of the book being released, it was a 4-year process kind of from start to finish of writing that book. So um the wonderful publishing group in the Twin Cities, Wise, Inc. Media, you know, owned by two incredible women. And um I just started writing and and did some coaching and and here we are. My face is plastered on the cover of that book, right? And now I'm sure how exciting like wherever you go it's like an Amazon New York or an Amazon bestseller. It's it's super exciting. It is. And it was it you know it hit number one in a variety of categories. Um and last week it hit number one in the biographies and memoirs for women or of women rather of women. Um and yeah that's really just cool to know that your book hit number one. Absolutely. I'm an instant Amazon bestseller. So, uh, it's really fun and it's one of those things, first of all, like opening up the envelope and being like, "Okay, my gosh, it's finally here and the trials and tribulations. Is it going to go? Is it not going to go?" But just the fact that I did it and you can say I did it and it's out there and now it's empowering women. Tell a little bit about what it's about and everything like that. So, the book is all about, you know, the pressures that women feel to be perfect and all of the different roles in their life. So each chapter is a different role. So it starts out with the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect body, you know, wife, lover, caregiver, career woman, and goes on and on. Uh and I share my experiences. It's a very real, raw, honest, authentic, truthful, right book. The ups and downs, the humor of it, too. Yes. It's funny. Um, I always say now, you know, people who read it are going to know more than they ever wanted to possibly know about me. Um, but I'm okay with that. I wrote it for a reason. Um, I wanted it to be a quick, fun read that women relate to. Absolutely. So, my experiences, you know, experiences of others and then backed by research, right? And so far, I mean, it's been really, really fun. after the release party um on February 5th. That night I had women texting me photos of them reading Hello Ms. Perfect in bed. Um I'm keep getting text messages about how it's resonating and you know people are seeing themselves in the stories which I mean it's doing exactly what I wanted it to do. You know it's impacting women well and you have a bunch of events coming up. Obviously it's your busy time of year. You've got some women in construction stuff. You've got panel speaking. Just speaking in general. How does all that work with the release of the book and the kid life and everything like that? Yeah, it was funny. I My dad had texted me this morning. He's like, "So, what are you doing today?" And I'm like, I screenshotted my calendar calendar back to him and he's like, "Oh, okay. You're busy today. I'll talk to you later." I'm like, "Okay, Daddy, I'll talk to you later." It is about balance, right? Uh and yes, so you know, next week is, you know, we kick off women's history month, you know, for the month of March. We've got women in construction week. Um we also have international women's day. So it is my busy time just given the work that I do. Yeah. Um and it's about balance you know trying at least trying your best or working with the flow anyway that you can. it is supportive spouse. You know, we were talking Google calendars, you know, just making sure that everything um is going Yeah. And it will and and for me too, it's you know, sometimes I can get anxious and you know, even last night I was looking at my next couple weeks and I'm like, gosh, I really do have a lot like maybe I have over committed. Yeah. But then I kind of talked myself down from that where it's like actually like you've got this. You can do this. You know, some days are busier than others. U but you've got it right. Well, and I think that's one of the big things in my life, too. Like you start to think, do I need to be more intentional and have those deeper conversations? I'm looking at my calendar. It's booking out until June right now. I have most days eight to nine events a day speaking, doing the podcast, getting out and about and people calling nonetheless, my kids or anybody else. Where are you at today? Well, I'm everywhere today. Like, let's let's figure it out. Let's make it happen and let's grow. Like, let's really get to know each other. And I think that's what's important is having those intentional meaningful relationships along the way too. And I think too there's something to be said and and I feel like I learned this during the pandemic too because I mean who ever thought that we would be in a global pandemic, right? Absolutely. Especially in 2020 and everything else. Yeah. You know, but it really did teach me that, you know, life is too short. It is. Um, you know, so if we can do all these amazing things and have these intentional conversations, relationships, events that we're going to, I mean, isn't that better, right? You know, so you have the flow, you might as well just keep working it because if what happens to the day when it's not there, you know, when it's when the flow stops or people say, "Hey, you know, who are you? Where you where have you been?" It's sometimes about those memories that you make, too. It's not just the go go go, but it's I remember that one time, that one trip along the way or the one thing that you could do that made a difference in people's lives. And too, you know, throwing in fun things. So, I had a former client reach out to me. She's like, I really want to pick your brain about your book. Can I take you for a Manny Petty today? I'm like, yes, you can. Absolutely. So, for me, like today from 1 to 3, that's what I'm doing. Awesome. Yeah. So, that's Yes. I had to schedule it and it's part of my day, but it's going to be a wonderful two hours, you know, catching up with an old friend, right? And pampering yourself. Why not? I know there's been an event or two where it's like, do I want to fly there? Do I want to drive there? I'm going to drive, but then I'm going to bring one of the kids with and let's make it a road trip. Let's do something out of the way, a little different. You want to see Mooster Elk? Let's Let's do it. You know, absolutely. There's only so many hours in the day. So, what's next for you? I know you have all your women in collective stuff and what drives you, what motivates you? Yeah. You know what I mean? I am having the time of my life with the woman collective. Amazing. Um, and and sometimes I have to like give myself a little bit of a reality check too because going into it I was like, gosh, like I couldn't be more educated. I had my doctorate degree and now I'm going to open up a retail store. Yeah. Like what? And you know, too, like I had family and friends when I threw up this idea. Tell us more. You know, what do you what do you mean? Um, and I worked retail like at high school. Oh, yeah. Everybody has. But never thought that I would do this as now a career. Mhm. But it's it's so much fun. It's taken me back to my entrepreneurial roots, you know, figuring out the really cool products to have in the store. Um figuring out Shopify, like I never knew how to use Shopify before. Um you know, what does that ordering look like? And so I'm having a blast. Nice. And then two, you know, seeing that big picture and, you know, taking down some walls earlier this year and creating this workshop strategy event space. Um, and then empowering and uplifting the community. Like it's truly become like almost this community gathering space, you know, like I have a bunch of nine-year-old Girl Scouts coming in tonight for their business meeting to get their business badge. That's amazing. You know, I'm going to chat with them about how the woman collective came to be and they're going to have their snack and they're going to do their meeting and and then they'll be on their way. But so amazing to have young girls in the store. Yes. you know, knowing that, you know, they too have impact in the world and they can make a difference and they can stand out and be uniquely them. And I think that's the big thing for the younger generation. You can't forget to be you. Yeah. And so many times people are like, I have the mold or I have to do this or I have to do that or I don't want to be in construction or I don't want to get out there. But guess what? You can do anything you put your heart to. You just have to figure it out a way and do it. There's going to be mistakes too along the way. Definitely. and for people to understand you wouldn't be where you are. I wouldn't be where I am today without all the mistakes and the learning process. Yeah. And it is really about being yourself. So I have it tattooed on my arm, you know, be fearlessly authentic, bravely be you. And then in the book kind of the motto is you don't need to be perfect, you need to be you. Absolutely. And those are two sayings that, you know, I really do try to live my life by. Yeah. I mean, it's it's very empowering, but as a person, as a mom, as a co-orker, anybody in the world, if you go into something, you give it your all, but you also put your own touch on it. Yeah, that's important. I was just talking to my co-orker upstairs. I'm like, "Oh, my hair didn't want to be straight today. It wanted to be curly. It does what it wants to do. It is what it is." You know, it's absolutely you just go with the flow. And here we are today having podcasts and doing different things in the world and trying to reach more people. Mhm. Mhm. So, how often do you get back home to Yeah. So, fortunate that my parents are retired, so they come and visit quite often. So, I have um an 18-year-old stepdaughter, Aubrey, and then I've got a almost 10-year-old son, Maverick. So, they love it when me, mom, and pops come to visit. Oh, yeah. Um but then my whole family is back in um just outside of Vancouver, Canada. So, I was home in January. Um and I get to go back a few times a year, too. Uh my whole family was in Minnesota for 2 weeks for Christmas. Mhm. Yes. They all stayed with me. Um we do like let's just do it. Yes. Only wanted to punch my brother out once, so that was good. But yeah, I mean it's great. So when you're out doing your speaking, your panel discussions, your all of that. How many times do people follow up with you and be like, "Hey, you know, I want to hear more. I want to dig deeper." Like I that really hit somewhere with me. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting. It kind of es and flows. It depends. Um so was fortunate to moderate a panel for the construction summit through real estate journal um last month so in January and that brought a lot of attention to the work that I was doing uh which is really really great. So I'm not sure exactly how why when um but women in construction are my people and it just it just has come to be this wonderful thing. Yes. Um, and it probably does tie into, you know, women working in predominantly male, right? A male-driven world kind of. Exactly. Yeah. Those industries, uh, where I really feel like, you know, that's where I can make the most impact is really encouraging women to use their voice. Yes. Um, and using their voice doesn't have to be in this big elaborate way, but maybe it's learning tips to, you know, navigate a challenging conversation on a job site. or if you don't feel like you're getting the respect that you deserve, like how do we kind of flip the switch, you know, and make those things happen? Well, I find that a lot of young girls, I mean, the more people I talk to having having daughters of my own and having their friends, it's like, oh, you're in construction. Like, I'm going to have a hammer and I'm going to be out there building. There's so much more to it. You know, you have the you have the law side of it, you have the human resources side, you have the business development side. Like everything that you want to do, marketing, whatever it may be, can tie into construction. It can tie into anywhere and everywhere that you go. But as long as you find what works for you, you're never too young to start over either. Like I I try new things every day. Like, who knows what's going to work today or tomorrow. I'm working a retail store, right? Yeah. Or the or the girls that are like, I don't want to know what I want to be when I get older. I'm going to just try a bunch of things out. Do it. Like try them out. You never know what's going to work, what's not going to work. Even for like our sons, you don't have to go to school. You don't know where you're going to be. Just just work, figure it out. I mean, most people, even my age, 40, 50, it's okay to start over. Yeah. Absolutely. And try it again. Yeah. Or even and sometimes I look at it as like it's not necessarily starting over. Right. Right. It's kind of like, well, what's the next chapter or um cuz that that aligns too with being ourselves. And I don't think that we're we're not necessarily changing ourselves when you know we want to do something new, right? And it might not be fully new. It might be just the route that's that you're led to from what you did in the past. It could be a different position. It could be a a new title. It could be a different job. It could be just traveling. Who knows, right? Yes. Yes. So, with the world changing, social media out there, getting back to the hard copy book, how was that like feeling those pages, turning those pages, things like that? Yeah. So, it's it's been it's just really cool. Like, I love to hold the book in my hand. Um, you know, I've read it a thousand in one time, of course, through the process. And every time it's something different, too, that sticks and I'm like now I'm reading through it. I'm like, "Oh, shoot." Like, I hope I don't find an error. That's grammatical. Whoops. Right. It's like, "Oh, but oh well." Right. I mean, we're not perfect. You're not perfect. There's always going to be a reprint. Yes. Um, but then it's been fun, too. I mean, social media is I mean, it's a really cool thing. You know, it has positives and it has negatives, but from a book promotion perspective, Yes. It's amazing. It sure is. You know, I mean, it's so fun to see, you know, ladies tag me in their post and reading Hello Ms. Perfect in Florida last week and somebody was at their kids swim meet this weekend and there was a break quote from it or something like that, too. Like, wait, what? Yeah. It's really, really fun. It's really fun. I've noticed that with the day and age, people are getting back to more of the paper copy books, too. For sure. They're wanting to pick it up. They're wanting to go to the library and turn those pages instead of just e-reading. And eyes are not good. And and I find I'm like that too. Like I I am not a lover of ebooks, you know, from the perspective of that because I spend so much time on a device as it is. So, I do love having that hard copy. Can flip flip the pages. I can use a bookmark. Yeah. The audio ones are great if you're in your car, you know, you have a long road trip for sure, like your first one that went out through the pandemic. Like, I'm gonna sit in my car. I'd much rather listen to a podcast or an audio book when I'm in there. I mean, obviously there's the days you're where you'll crank the music up or just completely turn it off and be like, "All right, I'm tired." Yes. So, you did ask what's next. We will do an audio book at some point. Um, and I'll I'll do it like I'll read it. Which I think will be fun cuz some of the feedback too is like, "Okay, Amelia, we can hear your voice like through that whole book." like you it was very clear you wrote it and let's let's hear you read it to the group and you know take excerpts from it and things like that too. Yeah. And that's been really fun too cuz I I've started to do book clubs you know one was with Vers um recruiting in the Twin Cities a couple weeks ago and it was really fun to sit with men and women cuz men were reading the book. Right. Yep. Um and then to read some of it to to chat about some of the reflection questions at the end of every chapter. U it was a lot of fun. What are some of your favorite reflection questions that are in there or what are some that you remember that stand out? I mean, I think really it's about I mean because what I'm encouraging women to do is to really figure out what perfectionism means to them. Yeah. Um and so that question, you know, it's I think it's actually in the first chapter of like what does perfectionism mean to you? How how do you feel like you may or may not be the perfect daughter? Right. Right. Because that's where that starts, right? that perfectionism as a young person, you know, that's where these things, you know, society and all that, the pressures that women feel all plays into that and that does start at a young age. So, that's a big one. Um, and then really what I want women to take away from it is is towards the end of the book and and what I've been reading at book clubs is kind of the um perfect perfectionist is the chapter. Um, and it's a letter from myself to the readers about, you know, what I want them to take out of it. Uh, and so I won't share too much because I want people to go everybody to go read it. However, it is really about like what impact do you want to make um, you know, know that the decisions that you make in your life um, does have impact. Right. Right. and really to encourage women to buck the system. Mhm. You know, get rid of the societal, the personal, the patriarchal pressures. Yes. Um that make women feel like they have to be this perfect way. Yep. What do you think is important for your children growing up and just seeing you're writing the book, you have the story, you have all this going on and their pressures of being perfect? So, it's hard. I mean, Maverick is a hockey player, so you know, it was really neat. the week that the book came out um he had a sports psychology session fun through White Bear Lake Hockey which was really really great and he came home and he's like mom we are talking about excellence versus perfectionism isn't that interesting Rick so tell me what you want there tell me more tell me more so that was really really interesting as an almost 10-year-old kind of articulating to me what what that means you know how for him he's like he doesn't have to be the perfect hockey player right uh my stepdaughter you know seeing her right now like applying for scholarships and getting in her um responses from universities that she's applied at and you know kind of being bummed out that she didn't get early acceptance on one of them where it's like but hey Aubrey like you you're not perfect and this is okay you this is okay that you have to wait till March to find out if you get in into this particular school. Um so it's they're really proud of me and I can get teeyed even articulating that. Um, so it's it's just really really again important to me like that that impact is being made. So like my kids are seeing me open up a store. Yeah. And kind of and they're a part of it and in going on that journey with me and you don't know how much they tag along and how much they're they're the why. They're the purpose. They are. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. And and too for them to know like they really can do anything they put their mind to. Yeah. Yeah. Which is important. I mean, I know with all the kids, every single child and every every adult out there is different and everybody has their own story to tell, but to see that you're making a difference in somebody's lives is just is amazing. And having them come home or like having your kids repeat something that you've said, whether good or bad. Yes. Right. There are a lot of fwords in the book. So, Yep. And you'll know like even little kids when they grow up like, "Hey, mommy, look at that." And it's like, oh, we're in the middle of a restaurant that's slipped out. Like, guess what? I'm not perfect. Just happens. Exactly. So, with the book and being released and all the events have you have coming up, what are some of your favorite events that you've done in the past? Oh, so I mean, I would say going to Costa Rica and and speaking at um this gross global happiness summit through United Nations University for Peace was really really incredible, right? Um, and I've been fortunate to speak across North America. Um, you know, with the military, which has been amazing. Um, Sesame Street was a client at one point. So, you know, knowing that I was helping mentor like some of the puppeteers for some of the characters was really really cool. U, but it's just it's a lot of fun and and you know, really, you know, seeing that light bulb moment go off. I think as a speaker, facilitator and witnessing that, you know, having the audience listen to something that I say and then like you can actually see that switch at times where it's like, wow, okay. Like I'll never forget I was presenting um to a group of military um and I was getting push back from this one gentleman and he was not buying anything that I was saying or he wasn't admitting to it. Yep. And it was and it was okay. Like I I I we challenged each other. We had some really good conversations during the break. And then the next day, it was a two-day session. He came back to me and he's like, I just want to let you know that you absolutely changed my entire perspective. Right. And so for me, I was like, gosh, like that's so amazing. It gives me the chills. Yeah. Like it's just one of those moments that okay, I was being really challenged by this guy and then the next day he's like, thank you so much. Like it was really incredible. Well, especially this day and age, like you want everybody to be on the equal playing field. You don't want to have, you know, you don't want to segregate. You don't want to have people stand out, but you also have to know that you have to be able to bring it to the table, but everybody's welcome at that table. Like, that's that's one of the big parts, too. Yeah. Absolutely. So, when he came back and did that and you saw the light bulb moment and it's like, okay, now I know I was meant to be here. Like, there's a reason, right? Yeah. Absolutely. And that and that's such a great point because it is one of those things where I am right where I meant to be. Yep. You know, yep. I might not be a university professor anymore, but I'm still I'm still relevant. I'm still doing it. Yes. I still have that passion and love for knowledge. I'm just now educating my peers more so than the up andcoming professionals. How often do you find obviously learning is essential in everything that we do and you never can stop learning. What do you what do you want to learn next? And what what would be something that would be kind of fun out of out of your world? So that would be fun. I I look at learning the most when I get to travel. So that's something that I love to do. Traveling is really important part of our famil family's lives and we're fortunate um to be able to go on some really cool trips, you know, as a family and such. So, um, kind of planning some trips for the future, but I would say like that's where I get a lot of my learning from. I'm still in recovery mode for my PhD. I think I'll like I I don't need to be like research ever again. No, 280 page. I can prepare for a trip. I can prepare for the culture of what I'm going to be in front of or who I'm going to be in front of. But I don't have any interest in doing much more research than I had to do right for that. And people don't realize how much that can take away from you. Like there's there's an extent to learning, right? Oh yes. Over learning, burning yourself out, and finding that that balance. I mean, even with college kids these days, I know I have a daughter that is going to school in nursing right now. And you you see the brain going and you see how much studying and writing and educating and learning and then it's like if I could just take a fraction of that and keep learning, maybe not to that extent, but Well, it's true. In the book, I I give a stat and I I think it was around I was a student or have been a student for 82% of my life, right? 82% of my life I've been a student. I'm not going to go back and be like, I remember that time I was studying this. It's Yeah. Yeah. So now it's like okay, I'm done with that bit. Like what kind of learning can we do that's more cultural and allows me to see see their part that I can learn from and use it in my life lessons. Yes. But then too like you're we my husband and I are constantly learning from our kids too. that plays a part, you know, as well. Even with technology these days, like what is that and how did you use that and how did you do it so quick? Here I'm taking 10 minutes. Have my glasses out making it bigger. Like Yep. I know. What can you do? Yeah. We learn a lot of slang words from the 10-year-old. Abbreviations. Yeah. I'm like, what does that mean? Emojis. Like, oh my gosh. Yeah. It's interesting to see where where and what their life will be like for sure when they get older too with with the way AI is happening and everything else and writing papers they don't need to write anymore and and things like that too. I think for everybody I mean obviously being being themselves bringing it to the table and not being afraid to say hey you know this is what I think you know like this is this is how I feel changed my mind like let's have that conversation. Absolutely. How do you feel that you know you have the women in construction stuff coming up, you have a bunch of events and then you have your trips planned, things like that. Do you ever bring your kids with you to your events just so they can listen or not so much? Not not necessarily so much. I mean, they've been in the store where we've had some mini events where they've heard me speak before. Um, good. But no, not so much at like some of these events. And not that I wouldn't, right? Oh, yes. Um, just the opportunity maybe hasn't presented itself. Yeah. And you never know when or where that'll happen or if you're on a trip, whatever that may be. But like tomorrow night, for example, is um I forget the title of it, but it's a women in wild event like at um the XL. Oh, nice. Very good. So my stepdaughter wants to be the first um female GM of an NHL hockey team. Amazing. So from 4 to 6, it's, you know, this great event with all these incredible women in the Twin Cities. Yeah. A panel, you know, snacks, all kinds of things. and then we go to the game afterwards and that's her drive. That's what she wants to do. Let's let's go. Yeah. So for her, like, you know, she's heard me speak a few times, but this will be, you know, kind of putting her out there in this networking space to get into, you know, where I'm be like, "Okay, Arby, like go talk, you know, go talk, introduce yourself." Uh, that's going to be really fun. Like it'll be really impactful for her tomorrow. And it'll be meaningful for you, too, just to be like, "Okay, I can see that you're out there doing your thing, what you want to do, and trying it out and seeing seeing who you talk to and how you how you figure your way around." Yep. Exactly. So, there's a bunch of stuff coming up. You've been have some traveling plans. What and how did you decide when you were younger that, you know, this is where I want to go? Like, what what made the difference in your life? Um, you know, I've always had really really supportive parents. Yeah. you know that certainly played a role. Uh you know what I talk about a lot in the book is you know I never felt the pressure to be perfect as a child right um that came kind of later in life through society patriarchy pressures. Um so it's still kind of um I don't know if I'm like trying to figure it out. It's still just there. It's like a light bulb kind of. It is. It is. You know I know that I'm here um doing what I should be doing. Yeah. Uh, you know, I feel I feel that um and I'm I've been a high achiever my whole life and that's kind of what I was alluding to with the book is that um things maybe come a little bit naturally to me. I feel um on the flip side of that though like I can get tired. I mean I've done a lot. I've accomplished a lot in my 45 years. Exhausting sometimes where I could crawl under a rock and maybe just stay there. Yep. Especially at the end of the night, like I don't want to make more decisions, right? Or I don't want to speak. I just kind of want to be here. Exactly. Yeah. So, so who have been some of your bigger mentors along the way through your process and who other than like your parents and your family, who who have been some amazing people you've come? So, one of my mentors, unfortunately, she's no longer here. She passed away a few years ago, but um her name was Terry Smaller. She was um another professor at a university that I taught at in Canada. Um and we and we taught public relations together. Um my aunt who is 84 who's back um in Canada as well. So I've traveled the world with her. She's joined me on trips. So I've been fortunate to teach overseas a lot. Um so she came to Austria with me when I was teaching in Vienna. Oh, fun. Um she came to Scotland with me. We lived in a castle for a month. Very cool. Um which was really cool. Um she actually uh was a nurse um and was in India um with Mother Teresa. Amazing. In Kolkata. Wow. Um so she's certainly a mentor and and and someone who you know I need in my life to be like okay pull up pull up your big girl panties. She'll say and let's go. You know suck it up buttercup. Come on. There is and there's so much wisdom in my 84year-old aunt which is just you know really cool. like one of those people you just want to sit there and listen to their stories. And as as people get older, a lot of their stories start to come out that you haven't gotten to hear or experience along the way, too. Yeah. And it was actually quite funny. I had said earlier that my dad had texted me this morning and I screenshotted uh my schedule and he just so happens to be with my aunt this morning and the response back was, "Well, auntie saying, you know, make sure you're taking some deep breaths and you're getting some rest because that sounds like a lot." Absolutely. And you could just hear her probably in the back of back of your head at all times, too. Yeah. So, you've done a lot of traveling. How important do you find that that is for the younger generation, the ones that are just starting out, experiencing life, everything like that? High high priority level. Yeah. Um, you know, so when I was in Costa Rica last spring, I went over 5 days early to speak at this conference and then my family joined. Oh, amazing. Yes. And so we did this big, you know, oneweek Costa Rican family adventure. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And it was so cool. I mean, we did chocolate and coffee tours. Uh, my favorite um memory for Maverick cuz it was his favorite experience was a cooking class. Oh, fun. So, it like really farmtotable. So, we got to go out into the farm. Maverick was digging up the potatoes and then we went into this outdoor kitchen with a Costa Rican family who didn't speak much English and made this amazing dinner that we then got to sit and enjoy. Amazing. And he still talks about it. Oh, absolutely. It's one of those things that you do. I think it's important for people to actually get out there and see the land, meet the people. Don't just do what culturally Norm says, "Hey, let's go sit on a beach. Let's go see the castles. Let's go explore. Let's let's go in those oneup restaurants that are down the alley and and see what it's all about." Yeah. I would not do the ziplining again, however. Okay. That was terrifying. Boy, across, you know, like thousands of feet up across the Costa Rican jungle. The kids loved it, but I was like, "No, I'm like, "Nope, I'm done. I'll watch you do it. We'll try it. I don't need to do that again." Yeah. I know. Just this last year, we went skydiving and everybody's like, "You you" I'm like, "Yep." And I'd do it again. That's one of what one of the kids wanted to do. Like gone to Ireland. You know, you start to explore and see things. But it's it's getting off that beaten path. Even in life every day here when everybody's like, "Oh, you're going to just shoot straight down I90 and go to Iowa or whatever." No, I'm going to take the the other ways. Same amount of time just to see the land and do what you do and get a different get a different feel. Yeah, I love that. Different perspective. Yes. So, we really appreciate having you on today. We're going to see you a ton next week. I know next week. I will too. I think I've got probably 10 to 11 events every single day. I might be a little bit tired, but we're going to do it. We're going to bring it in and let's keep going. So, for those of you again who haven't seen it, Hello, Miss Perfect is out there. Go buy it. listen to her speak. And how can people find you? What's another way for them to find you and get a hold of you? Um, you can look at my website. So, it's a rigged.com. And if you want to learn more about the woman collective, it's thewomancollective.com. It's right in White Lake. Yep. Perfect. Well, we appreciate having you on. It was so exciting to see you and I can't wait to hear and see your events next week. Thank you. Thank you.