Helping Foster Kids Get Adopted | Kaycee Stanley, The Reel Hope Project #071

Hello everyone. I'm Karissa from Shining Light on Minnesota. I'm very excited and I can't wait to introduce you all. I have Kaycee from the Reel Hope Project. Welcome Kaycee. Hi. Thank you. Yes. So, let's get started and tell everybody about the Reel Hope Project and how you got started. Yeah. Uh, at the Reel Hope Project, what we do is we make videos of kids in foster care who are waiting to be adopted and then we use their videos to try to find a forever family for every child. Wonderful. And you were kind of telling me it's going to be you're going on almost 10 years now. Yep. We started in 2016 and so coming up on our on our 10 year anniversary, which is pretty wild. Amazing. So, how did you get started with the Reel Hope Project? Yeah. A lot of it came from um my husband and and my own desire to adopt and our heart for adoption. And we always felt called to adoption. We felt like that was really something that that God had put on our hearts. And so, um, we noticed a trend when we would tell people that we wanted to adopt, we would get lots of support and excitement and enthusiasm and people like, "Oh, adoption, that's so great." Um, but when we would say we wanted to adopt kids from foster care, we would get a lot more of the like, oh, are you sure about that? And have you heard the stories and have you done your research and do you know what those kids are like? Um, we just saw that over and over again and we knew, you know, that those reactions come from love and like people just wanting to know, you know, that we knew what we were getting into, which by the way, we did not, [laughter] right? But it was like still what we felt like, let's do this anyway. Exactly. It was like, we're going to do this. Um, and so that just kind of got us dreaming and praying for years about like, man, how do we help to really like change the narrative around adoption from foster care in particular? Um, and then we started seeing other states things like this started popping up in other states, but it was often, you know, associated with a news program and it was like kind of local newsy kind of style or it was an adoption agency that was doing a hundred different things and then kind of trying to do like iPhone videos on the side, you know, and it was like, man, what if we just did that and did only that and tried to do that like best in the world, you know, like really try to do that with excellent. Yeah. And so we tried it. It started in 2016. I think we did three videos that first year. Uh and then just kind of started slowly snowballing from there. And it's been it's been so exciting. What have been some of the standout videos that you've done that have really made a difference? Yeah. Oh, good question. I mean, so many. We uh it's fun. Even just today in our office, we were reviewing some of the some of the newer videos and it's just like always fun to see a kid's like personality come out or to hear. Um this morning we heard about two kids that were matched with families just today. And so those are always like huge celebrations. One story that I love to tell that I just think is so special. Um a shoot we did early early on rural Minnesota sibling group. Um and just some unique kids that this sibling group of teenagers. So like so just check every box of like this is going to be tough to find. Okay, it's family. It's siblings. You find this work. Just finding families for one teenager is difficult. Let alone multiple let alone multiple with some unique needs and they wanted to stay in the town where they already lived. They were like not open to you've got to make it work. And so it was like my goodness. Yeah. This is going to be tough. And we made their real and put it out there and we were like boy I hope you know I'm always like I'm the constant optimist. Every shoot I'm like we are going to do this. Yeah. Yeah. And that was one where it was like, "Ah, this is going to be really, I think, tough." And then months later, we heard from a dad and he said, "Hey, I saw this video." And um just knew right away that those were my kids. And I like started the process. He left his job because his job schedule was just like not conducive to parenting. Got a new job that would be more conducive to parenting. Got matched with those kids, adopted them. It was like just the craziest. So there's like stories like that that we hear sometimes. We just heard recently of another one of two siblings that were in different states. We filmed their videos in different states. Yeah. Edited their video together. Um, and a family saw the the video of them together and went through the entire process and now they're like family, which is just like such a cool Yeah. I mean, it gives me the chills because you hear so many times of kids going from foster to foster to foster and bouncing around and there's nothing more disheartening. I mean, being a parent, having a blended family of seven kids, and just seeing those kids go and their friends go from home to home and never having that forever home. Yes. There's nothing more disheartening and just just so sad. Yeah. Yeah. So, seeing the difference that you guys are making, I know we've been a part of it. Um, and just watching the difference that you guys do is absolutely amazing. Thank you. Thank you. We love it. We're honored to get to do it. So, what do you think is next? and how how can people help? Yeah, we are so we started in Minnesota like I said in 2016 in for the first five years we only served Minnesota kids and then in like 2021 2022ish doors started opening in other states and so we've been in the process of launching in in more and more states each year. So right now we are in um nine states across the country and we have a long-term vision of serving a thousand kids a year. So that's really like what we're going after and that will require launching in in many states across the country. So we're we're actively working on that. I would say if you are listening and you have connections to the child welfare system in your state, if you're a social worker, if uh you work in the department of human services or an adoption agency or foster care agency, reach out. We would love to we would love to get connected in your state. The other thing that people can do is we are 100% privately funded. So we don't we don't do any um government or state grants. all just through the generosity of people who believe in kids and believe in the power of stories and family. And so every reel that we create costs about $3,000. Um that includes everything from like the coordination process and getting all the legal releases signed to be able to film and do all the things that we do, traveling to the kids, filming, editing, and then distributing the real. All of that costs about $3,000. And so we have people who are monthly givers who give $20 a month or $50 a month or whatever they're able to do. That really sustains us as an organization. And we have people who uh who give to fund one reel and say I can give a onetime gift of $3,000 and knowing that that gift will literally double a kid's likelihood of finding a forever family. Um and then we're often able to send a video to send a link to the video that uh a certain family funded so they can see oh we made like we made that possible for for Joey which is pretty fun. So who have been some of your mentors along the way that have really formed and got you started and make a difference in your life? Oh, great question. Love that question. I feel like I have been surrounded by mentors my whole life. So, yeah. Uh, yeah, as a kid, as a teenager, I had multiple women through my church and through different settings that just like really invested deeply in me. Um, and through college that was the case when I was a I worked at a church right out of college and my boss there um, shout out Ryan Braley uh, was like a mentor to me for years and really taught me a lot about um, yeah, just leadership and growth and momentum and um, and vision and u, so super thankful for him. And then that that church where I worked is the church that really like founded like really kind of launched launched me out to um, to run real help. And now I'm just so thankful I get to have these mentors in different organizations. Um there's a founder of an organization called Together for Good and she is she's an adoptive mom herself and um is just kind of like a a matriarch I think in like like the motherly sense of like you want to be. Yeah. Yeah. And she just has been such a like cheerleader and supporter for me. And so I call her often and then I've recruited actually a couple mentors that are in kind of like the nonprofit space to just say like this is there's all kinds of things that come up all the time and we are doing something that's unique. There's not a template for like you're starting a coffee shop here's the hires that you you know there's not a template to follow every we're just we're making it up as we go but setting processes so you know how to do it in future too and other locations too. Yeah, totally. And it's been fun now over 10 years to like, okay, we've we've got this. We've got like some systems worked out. Um, but then of course there's always new challenges that that come up. And so to have those mentors to kind of to mentor you through those through those challenges, I think has been really a gift. What do you think you would have told or what would you tell your younger self now? Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh goodness, that's a great question. Um, I think I would just remind little Kaycee [laughter] that like one that like God is faithful and that it's not like all on my shoulders to like drive. I think I had a lot of like I have to make this work and this is like on me and whatever. and have just seen what I would say is like the faithfulness of God to like continue to to just grow at a really I think healthy pace where I think if I were in charge I'd be like year one thousand kids million dollar budget let's do it exactly exactly and um just seeing like the growth of our team the the growth of just me personally and like the gift of that like long trajectory and sort what to me at the time felt like slow growth, right? But now looking back is like, oh wow, a lot has happened and we've really like grown and developed and I think impacted kids and families. Um, so I think when you have a like a ambitious like heart or an ambitious goal, nothing's ever happening fast enough, right? Um, so I think I felt a lot of that in the early years. You felt the pole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so it's fun now to be able to like, okay, there's history and there's I I see the trajectory and I see where we're going. So I guess that's like what I would say to to little Kaycee is like it's happening. It just isn't always going to happen. Where I am now is not like I I am where I wanted to be a while ago too. Yes. Yes. Yes. And that the fact that it takes a long time is part of the like part of the beauty and part of the journey, you know, and not like a I think sometimes it would feel like am I failing that this isn't like we're not serving a thousand kids yet, right? And it's like that has really shifted in my heart with like okay no this is like it's often like the little things and like you kind of not to be like cliche about it but like grinding forward is like a lot of a lot of what it is. Yeah. Do you have a favorite quoter model that you live by? Oh, that's a good question. Um, work-wise, I don't really know. I love one thing that I absorbed from my mom is um just she always says, "Choose to laugh." [laughter] Yeah. And I just really love that. And so that's been like a value on our team is we have a one of our like core values is mandatory fun. Yeah. And just like wanting to have a place to work that is that is fun. And we work in a space that is um heartbreaking sometimes and we hear like I often get to say to people like I hear the just most heart-wrenching stories in in this role and our team hears just the most heart-wrenching stories. We also hear like the most beautiful like powerful stories. Absolutely. And so like that's a a tension we walk in is like there's real trauma that these kids are walking through and we believe there's real healing on the other side. And so like choosing joy and choosing laughter even on like the hard days or you hear hard news or whatever. Um that's definitely like a principle I try to live by. Yeah, I know that I've been hearing more and more um in our field that people have a mental health room where they can go in and they can cry and or they can go in and they can have a team building room where they can go in and they can all laugh together in. And that's such a huge thing I think these days where if you want to just go in yourself and you want to just go in and break down and cry and reset or you want to go in with a friend and you just want to have fun and just laugh together and just have fun and just be silly and goofy. I think that that's such a big thing these days to just let things go. How as a team, I mean, I know you have so many people that are behind you. How do you guys celebrate? What are some fun things that you do? Yeah, I love that. We've been talking a little bit about celebration as a as a team. So there's a couple of things that we have started doing. Uh every time a shoot so getting a shoot to actually happen is actually like I mean you guys know you super complicated. Not just like the filming but the specifically the kids. Yeah. And the kids we work with have so much transition happening in their lives and so much like instability that just like getting like just today MJ on our team was on the phone with like okay this flight that we thought was going to happen isn't going to happen. Okay, we're driving like just trying. Yeah. And so every time a shoot happens we have these little like uh we printed out these little clapper boards and we'll like write the kids name on the clapper board and celebrate that as a team. uh when we hear about kids being matched, we uh we have like little ways that we celebrate and we have like little candy things that we put in a little jar every time a kid is matched or um MJR shoot uh our coordination manager who coordinates all the shoots. Uh we'll send out we'll do a lot of gifts, you know, just like happy gifts of like this kid got matched or this kid's adoption was finalized. Congratulations. Yeah. Yes. Yep. Yep. And as a team we spend we spend time praying for each kid. We spend time praying for each other and I think that's really been valuable and yeah, just finding ways for our team to like have fun together. We're going to go out to eat together. We're gonna Our team went blind dancing the other night. Absolutely. Like team building stuff. Yeah. Exactly. Yep. Because there's a lot of I mean there's a lot of stress that goes along with it, but there's also ways to do team building. And you all win together because you win it. You all win. Yeah. Yes. Y absolutely. What do you think's next for you guys? Yeah, we are hoping next year we're aiming at about 192 shoots next year. That's that's the goal, which will translate hopefully into like a little over 200 kids because it's usually more kids than videos because of sibling groups we film together. So aiming at about uh 190 200 video shoots next year and we're in conversation right now with um Arizona and West Virginia and um Missouri to try to launch in in a couple more states. So, we're really like we're pretty focused on I think a lot of nonprofits as you grow you launch new programs and do new things. We're like we do one thing and we do it but we want to do it everywhere. We got to get the process set here so then we can duplicate it everywhere else. Yeah. Exactly. Yep. So, it's a a ton of just pursuing um shoots and being able to serve kids. Fundraising is like the constant wheel that we're turning to be able to do that and then really figuring out how to get these kids in front of more people. So, a lot of our history, our our um getting these kids in front of families was really two things. Social media and um social media when appropriate because not all kids can be shared on social media. Absolutely. Um and then churches. So, we'd go to churches every Sunday and highlight kids. And as we expand nationally, we're just seeing, oh man, we got to find other ways to like get so like this right now or like this is a great way to try to get kids in front of a wider audience because there are so many families that are like open to adoption thinking about it, but it kind of just life is busy and it ends up back. Yeah. it just kind of doesn't happen and then their kids are older and we don't know if we're going to and so it's just crazy that families sometimes who it's kind of been back here will see one specific kid and then often it's that kid and it's sometimes omnipresent you've got to stay on top of mind and you don't know when it's going to hit or how it's going to hit. Totally. Yes. Yeah. Totally. And a lot of times I mean it's it's this time of year you never know when it's going to be I mean the holidays come or something comes or it could be summertime. It could be just you never know when it's going to trigger. Yes. Totally. And it's usually a long journey like and that's actually good. Like it wouldn't be good if a family was like I've never thought about adoption and now randomly adopt a 15y old 18 or 17 right before they turn 18. Totally. Totally. Like it should be a long thoughtful prayerful journey. And so we're just try to kind of like slow drip keep these kids in front of people. Not just random. Hey, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I want a kid. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. [laughter] Yes. Haven't thought about it. I don't have a place for them yet. Let's just do this. Yes. Totally. Right. Yeah. What have been some of the obstacles you guys had along the way? How have you overcome them? Um I think early days there were we were just doing something new and innovative and in doing that we're working with the government. These kids are under um the guardianship of right the state. And so um the government isn't always the best at like [laughter] right you know moving really fast or doing new creative things. So there was yeah I think in the early days there was more push back about like what is this and can you do this in a way that's safe and legal and legal and um like do we know how to talk with kids who have been through significant trauma about something as personal and emotional as this going to work? Yeah. Like are you going to be good with kids? Do you understand the confidentiality concerns? Like so much of that in the early days. So that was a that was a big obstacle that we worked through eventually and it does feel like now it's it's more and more common. It's more and more normalized when we talk to new states and we say we're operating in nine states. You can see the like oh okay right uh but that wasn't there at first. So that's a big obstacle. Um the other obstacle I would say is just a lot that is so much out of our control and so we don't decide which kids get videos and which kids don't. It's the the social workers who are in the trenches with these kids every day. they decide uh when a kid is ready for a video. Like it wouldn't be appropriate for us to show up to film a video the day after that child finds out like I'm not going to go home to mom and dad. Like Right. Yeah. That's not No, timing is everything. Timing is huge and totally out of our control and totally the expertise of each individual social worker. Um you know the the weather is out of our control. That's one of the things that happened with the shoot today. I feel like oh the shoot was planned outside and it's there's a below zero. Yeah. [laughter] Y um even just kids in the level of of trauma that they've been through, there are times when it's like they're ready for their video shoot and then that day sometimes it's like they're actually not behavioral wise. Yeah. No, we just kind of anticipate like one in five, one in 10 shoots is going to get cancelled like might not work. You never know. Yeah. We have to just hold it really really loosely and like uh we're going to just keep pursuing it until we can make it happen. But um so that that's like one of the I would say bigger challenges is just so much being um They are kind of out of our control. Yeah. Tell me about your team. Yes, I have a great team. Some of them are right over there. Um, so there are six of us on staff. So I'm the um founder and CEO and then we have uh McKenzie is our coordination manager. So she want to come on camera. You guys want to come on camera and say hi? Come on camera. Just lovely people. Not everybody's here. Y Kayla, our shoots manager, is out on a shoot right now. They're not ready for this. I know. We just totally sporadically Do you want to like have him here or do you want Come on over. Yes. Yeah. Come on in. So, this is Jeremy. He's our director of advancement. He just joined the team two days ago, three days ago. Welcome. Brand new. Yes. Yes. Where are you from and what do you do? Uh, well, originally I'm from Whidby Island in Washington State. Wonderful. Um, so I'm kind of new to the Midwest, but uh, welcome. I'm excited to be here and be a part of the Reel Hope Project. What did you do prior? Uh so I own a business called Honest Studios and I've been involved with uh over 100 organizations primarily in the changemaking space helping with movement creation and fundraising and things like that. So yeah, it's really my calling and my passion. Perfect. MJ. Yeah. Hi, [laughter] I'm McKenzie. I uh I live in Wisconsin actually. That's where I'm from. So I just Are you a Packer fan? Absolutely. Perfect. I'm gonna give you a five for that. There you go. Yeah. There we go. How can you not be? You're done with this. I'm from [laughter] Minnesota. So, there we go. We're good. Um, I am the shoots manager. So, I I actually um or the coordination manager, excuse me. So, I actually coordinate all the shoots that are happening. So, the stuff she was talking about earlier about flying and cancelling and figuring things out. All the behind the scenes and nobody understands. Exactly. So, I'm kind of the point of contact connection and like behind the scenes like make her happen. Make it happen in her. You make it all happen. Yes. [laughter] Your new title. Yeah. Yes. My name is Kimberly and I've been with Reel Hope for almost three years. Um, I have kind of a weird combination of like creative energy to bring to the team and administrative skills. So, my role right now is spread across marketing development and a little bit of kind of general admin. Wear a lot of hats, too. Lots of hats. Wonderful. Y and then, like I said, we have Kayla who's out on a shoot right now. Um, and then we have Erica who's our development and events manager. So, she does a lot on like the fundraising side, plans our gala, does everything. So, what are your guys' favorite parts about the Reel Hope Project? We'll start with you, Kimberly. Um, hon like a specific, but I often tell people I have never loved a job more than this and a team more than this one. I'm not a saleserson, but if you give me a mission that I love, I will run hard and fast and like sell it to people, I guess, quote unquote. So, I just love the mission. I love our team. We have a really uh unique and organic chemistry I feel like for a team of our size. And as we're growing, we just continue to be blessed with awesome people that we genuinely love being together and doing this work together and celebrating the wins like we did just today ringing the upstairs bell because we were celebrating kids who we found out got matched. So, yay. Amazing. Yeah. Good. Has there been a project that's been the most rewarding for you on your shoots? Um, I think one of the most rewarding things that or like just something that really warms my heart is when I, you know, do all the work of getting a shoot scheduled, planned, and then being able to hear on the back end that a kid is matched with family or andor adopted. Absolutely. So, especially seeing like we were just sharing a family, the family um from this last year who where I coordinated it, you know, A to B and to see now they're adopted or C is matched and then adopted at the end of that. It's like being able to see everything come full circle and to [clears throat] to be a part of something that's so much bigger than me. Like adoption has always been something that's um been near and dear to my heart. My son's adopted. Like we just lots of um Yeah. to be able to do it as for a living is just an honor. Yeah. What are you looking forward to most? [clears throat] Wow. Um, well, I love to see things grow and uh, so I think seeing this organization is sort of in their I don't know what the right term would be, but like sophomore year kind of came to my mind or something where it's like we're we're beyond like the freshman year. Yeah. Um, and now moving into kind of this growth stage or this kind of new maturity season and there's really been a foundation of excellence that's been laid here and Kaycee's really helped lay that. Um, and uh, so I'm just thrilled to be able to then kind of help advance that or accelerate that in this next season. Yeah. Yeah. Kaycee, what do you think would be something that you would really want our audience to know? Oh, that's a great question. I would say um I would say I would want you to know real kids. Uh I think in the adoption system, kids are one often invisible. Two, if you get to learn more about them, it's often the hard pieces. It's their case file and it's, you know, all the hardest moments of their life and the way that they responded in their hardest moments, which would not be like a good way to meet somebody. that would not be like how I'd want you to introduce me on this podcast is like here's Kaycee, let's talk about her issues, right? Um, and so I think that would be the thing that I would want to remind people of like there's a kid behind that piece of paper. Absolutely. Like that every child is deserving of a forever family. Yeah. What's your favorite food? Favorite food? Yeah. Oh gosh, that's like right now, but tend to have some adventurous. Yep. Favorite hobby. I like coffee shops. [laughter] It's like check my list. Yeah, I love favorite thing to do. Oh, favorite thing to do. We're getting into the fun questions, right? Uh, two things came to my mind, but I really enjoy fly fishing. Um, and I also like to ski. Okay. Those are downhill ski. Yeah. Okay, cool. That's fun. Favorite place you've traveled? Oh, good question. I went to Ireland when I was when I graduated college. I love Ireland. I've been there, too. That was my favorite place. Yes. Yeah. Where in Ireland did you go? Where did we go? We were in Dublin, in Galway. Uh we went to like five different cities. It's funny. The first time I've asked people where they've gone their favorite place, it's always been Ireland. Really? It's really crazy. Yes. Yeah. Was in the PS I love you uh stage, you know. Yeah, I know. Yeah. What has been the most difficult thing you've endured in the last year? Um this is like a lot for us. My husband just had some family, you know, family is like part of our mission, but I think family on our team very Okay. Yeah. Favorite quote? Yeah. Like the last person you should ask. [laughter] I know. Yeah. I honestly don't know. Exposure's in your cup. Yeah. Cheers. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. There you go. Yeah. You say that. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. [laughter] There you go. So, you guys are all a big happy family here. What do you think as a group is going to be the most fun thing you'll do next year? Anything? I think celebrating our 10 year is really significant. We held gallas and that seems to be pretty memorable for everybody but like I think elevating the team. Yeah. Well, we appreciate having all of you guys on today. It was a lot of fun. It was great to be here. Can't wait to see more stories and hear more about the kids and all of their exciting journeys and see them all getting placed and everywhere that you guys are going. So, thank you guys so much. We hope you guys keep shining light and we appreciate you all. See you guys later. Thank you for the spotlight. A lot of fun. Yeah. See you guys later. [music]